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"Christ-like Communication” by Stacey Birk

Editor's Note: Not all sacrament meeting speakers write out their talks verbatim. I did not want to overlook the value of the talks given by speakers who want to speak somewhat from the heart, so I will occasionally post really substantial outlines of talks worth re-reading, like this one. This talk is presented with its speaker's original formatting.

I grew up outside Seattle, raised by a prof of English
Accounts for love of Victorian poetry, obsession w/ grammar, lumps on head (“dude”)
Father had (and taught) appreciation for power of words used well

Theme of sacrament meeting is Christ-like communication

Doctrinal principle – Joseph Smith’s Lectures on Faith:
“It is by words … [that] every being works when he works by faith. God said, ‘Let there be light: and there was light.’ Joshua spake, and the great lights which God had created stood still. Elijah commanded, and the heavens were stayed… All this was done by faith. … Faith, then, works by words; and with [words] its mightiest works have been, and will be, performed.”

Similarly, interesting that the two great forces in the universe are named for words:
Savior known as the Word – John 1:3 – power by which “all things were made”
Lucifer known as the father of lies – (both BofM and PofGP)
Not “father of pain” or “father of abuse” – words used to deceive and destroy

Want to discuss this dual potential of communication – both how it affects others and selves

Not news that words can be used to harm others
Psalms full of injunctions from writer to self to control the tongue
James calls it a “fire, a world of iniquity”
Elder Holland quotes the Apocrypha:
“The stroke of the whip maketh marks in the flesh: but the stroke of the tongue breaketh the bones.”  (Ecclesiasticus 28:7)

Satan as greatest example:
Talked Eve into disobedience
Talked Cain into murder
Talks the children of God into distancing themselves from Him

Savior, of course, is greatest counter example
WORDS USED TO HEAL, FORGIVE, BLESS

The effects of our interactions with others may not be as dramatic
→ or maybe only less immediate
Here are a couple of more relatable examples:

(I love 1 Nephi because, among other things, the family dynamics are really instructive –
especially re: communication, the family is where we need to be concentrating!


Laman and Lemuel – everyone’s favorite bad examples
Known for their tendency to murmur
Criticize Nephi, complain to/about Lehi
Inappropriate language (on the boat) drives Spirit away, disqualifies family for guidance Lehi tells us Jacob “suffered afflictions and much sorrow, because of the rudeness of thy brethren.” (2 Nephi 2:1)

Nephi as better example
Story of broken bow – Laman and Lemuel get everyone murmuring – even Lehi
Nephi makes a new bow, asks Lehi where to go to hunt
Lots of things we can draw from this – one thing interests me:
Nephi was smart, capable, qualified to receive revelation
Asking Lehi = act of deference
Gentle reminder of Lehi’s responsibilities
Nephi’s words of compliment and confidence lift his father
Paul to the Ephesians (4:29) –
Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.
Our words should “minister grace” to those to whom they are addressed

Do not only affect others, but ourselves
Savior taught the principle to disciples – Matt. 15:11 (then 18-20)
Not that which goeth into the mouth defileth a man; but that which cometh out of the mouth, this defileth a man.
When the Pharisees, committed to the kosher laws, protested, Jesus explained:

  18 But those things which proceed out of the mouth come forth from the heart; and they defile the man.
  19 For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies:
  20 These are the things which defile a man: but to eat with unwashen hands defileth not a man.

Story of activities co-chair in a student ward
Habit of creative expletives – “oogly-moogly!”
Knew he was a convert – asked him about a previous swearing problem
Yes – worked to change it so that he could “retain remission of sins”

Conversely, words can affect us positively
James 3:2 – If any man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man
Not that this will automatically make us perfect in all other areas – explains:


…and able also to bridle the whole body.
  3 Behold, we put bits in the horses’ mouths, that they may obey us; and we turn about their whole body.
  4 Behold also the ships, which though they be so great, and are driven of fierce winds, yet are they turned about with a very small helm, whithersoever the agovernor listeth.

Words can be the small directors of larger actions
To control what we say can make us perfect
An example of this principle is found in Pres. Packer’s famous talk, “Candle of the Lord”
(may not seem quite related – stay with me)

Oh, if I could teach you this one principle. A testimony is to be found in the bearing of it! Somewhere in your quest for spiritual knowledge, there is that “leap of faith,” as the philosophers call it. It is the moment when you have gone to the edge of the light and stepped into the darkness to discover that the way is lighted ahead for just a footstep or two. “The spirit of man,” is as the scripture says, indeed “is the candle of the Lord.” (Prov. 20:27.)

It is one thing to receive a witness from what you have read or what another has said; and that is a necessary beginning. It is quite another to have the Spirit confirm to you in your bosom that what you have testified is true. Can you not see that it will be supplied as you share it? As you give that which you have, there is a replacement, with increase!

Principle at work is one my best friend calls “fake it till you make it”
Idea is that words show willingness, desire → fulfilled by the Lord

Just one example – If words of belief makes us faithful, then…
Words of kindness make us kind, generosity, cheerfulness, forgiving, charity

Lastly, if we understand that words are powerful, there is a final implication:
Power is a stewardship for which we will be held accountable
Consider priesthood, creative powers
Terrifying scripture – Matthew 12: 36
But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment.

Point is not to frighten, but to call attention to something we pay dangerously little attention to
Within this little “member” (per James) is the power to bring about
Sorrow, pain, doubt, irreverence, guilt, humiliation, enmity …or…
Joy, optimism, confidence, encouragement, peace, comfort, love
Words ultimately have power to move ourselves and those around us toward exaltation

Let us align our purpose with the Father’s, in all we do and say

Stacey Birk
Irvine, California
Jan. 25, 2009

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